A Final Day at Gridline Games
A spiritual successor of "A Day at Gridline Games."
Table of Contents
- Chapter 1: Chapter 11
-- Part 1: Fur Lowed
-- Part 2: Order 66.6
-- Part 3: A Very Special Announcement!
-- Part 4: Question Mark
-- Part 5: Prophet!
- Chapter 2: The Storm
-- Part 1: Enlightenment
-- Part 2: E.T.A.
-- Part 3: Space Ruckus
-- Part 4: God Versus the Volcano
-- Part 5: Source
Chapter 1: Chapter 11
Now with more to digest with less of the side effects!
Part 1: Fur Lowed
The day began just like any other. Unable to park my vehicle in the Gridline Games parking lot due to the company's extra tight spaces. I swear, they become smaller and smaller each time they are repainted! As usual, I had no choice but to park off-site. Not that I mind a whole lot. I do enjoy the exercise. Upon entering the office, I took note of the boardroom's closed double doors. A meeting must be in session, I thought. I took a closer look, and sure enough, I could hear chatter coming from within. Seeing no reason to interrupt a meeting already in progress, I proceeded toward my desk to begin my day's work. After all, that is what people do around here, right?
Gridline Games had been working on the same game for what seemed like years now. Of course, I am referring to Kat Starr: Deep Space Feline. The game had thus far been plagued by design problems. Originally, it was intended to be released as a single game, but due to numerous budget constraints, the team made the decision to split it into three parts. I did manage to fix one problem, though. The fur physics on Kat Starr were giving us trouble the night before. His fur follicles were standing straight up. As ridiculous as it may sound, the problem was solved by shutting down and restarting the editor. Just then, someone approached quietly from behind. It was none other than Eero. He had a very devastated expression on his face. One which I had never seen before. He instructed me to follow him into the boardroom immediately...
Part 2: Order 66.6
As Eero and I entered the boardroom, I came to realize something. We had far fewer team members than we used to! From somewhere clear across the room, a faint voice called out to me and asked that I kindly take a seat. Without my glasses, it was difficult to make out just who that person was. However, not being one to ignore faint voices, I promptly sat down.
A glance around the room made things a little more apparent. Everyone at the table had been passed a cheerful hue colored sheet of paper authorizing their release from the company. Why cheerful hue, I may never know. The heart-wrenching order had come down from upper management earlier that morning. It would seem that I had even been phoned to stay home. But hey, at least I put in some work this morning! It was at that precise moment in which Allen turned, pointed and laughed. I quietly pocketed the "cheerful slip." Perhaps I could later use it for a paper airplane.
Dozens of thoughts ran through my head. At least one of them pertained to my future. There was that second job of mine nobody else knew about, but I seriously wondered if it would actually pay the bills. I began to slowly sink my head into the table. Woe is this world! Suddenly, meelWORM burst into the boardroom looking more vibrant than ever. He had a very special announcement to share with us all, and it was not what one might expect...
Part 3: A Very Special Announcement!
"I'M HAVING A BABY!" Those were the first words out of meelWORM's mouth. The few people in the boardroom who still cared about life at this point turned toward him and said, "WHAT? WHO? HOW?" As it would turn out, meelWORM had been married for over two years, and somehow, it never came up in a conversation with the team. It should have been evident the moment that he stopped making remarks of a sexual nature in the office, I suppose.
As exciting as meelWORM's news was, some of us were eager to leave. Our contractual obligations to Gridline Games were officially over. Sad as it was for me, I decided to bear the responsibility of leading the charge out of the boardroom. Just as I was about to reach for the door handle, however, the lights went dark and a thick cloud of green smoke quickly filled the air...
Part 4: Question Mark
Helplessly, I fell to my knees, struggling to breathe. My eyes felt as though I had just then finished cutting a dozen onions. As I began to wipe them, I could sense the chaos unfolding in the boardroom. One person was even screaming like a little girl. Sadly, I could not determine who that was. Too bad I did not have my phone on hand to snap a video. In the heat of the moment, someone grabbed onto my arm, and carried me into another room. My vision was still too blurry to distinguish from faces.
As I began to see things a little more clearly, I realized that I was held up in a supply closet with Allen, Eero, Jovani and meelWORM, who was wielding an illuminated toy lightsaber. Everyone else had turned against meelWORM, assuming that he must be the one behind this charade. They had a strong enough case. He had arrived just moments before the incident, and the timing of his gleeful entry in relation to the release of staff was nothing short of uncanny. Jovani was in such a fit of rage that he used meelWORM's real name. But meelWORM, who was also Mark, asserted that he had done nothing. Even the terminations came as a surprise to him. He swore this oath on his unborn child!
"Enough is enough!" Allen yelled this brief statement at the top of his lungs. "If you want any real answers," he said, "you should take them up with the man upstairs." Allen made perfectly sure that nobody in the room took that to mean God. No, there was only one entity that he could have meant, and that entity was Mike. Clearly, he was the only one who could have devised something as ludicrous as this...
Part 5: Prophet!
Those of us that sought answers proceeded toward the upper floor of the building. Everyone else ran off in an effort to make their escape. That just left meelWORM and I to confront Mike. We quickly lost sight of the others in the thick cloud of smoke covered in darkness. Eventually, we found our way to the central stairwell. Making our way upstairs, we found a closed door. A note had been placed on this door. The note read, "Keep out! I mean it this time!" Even if this note was meant for us, we pushed on through with complete confidence. Beyond that door was a most peculiar sight. A room filled with a mix of ancient Asian decor, modern computer equipment and scented candles. Ever prevalent was the sound of ocean waves, wind chimes and various harmonics. Really, I could not make this stuff up if I tried! At the center of it all was Mike, who appeared to be in deep meditation.
Before meelWORM or I even had a chance to speak, Mike quietly asked us to sit down and make ourselves comfortable. He had much to reveal. As we took our seats, a heavy wind blew swiftly through the room, knocking out the candle light in the process. The funny thing was, there were no windows! All was silent for a moment, and then Mike began to speak. He explained to us that time did not work in the way that we thought it did. What we thought was the beginning was actually the end. What has come to pass is yet to be, and what is yet to be has come to pass. He continued onward by explaining to us the process by which the whole universe works. In an ironic fashion, the end goal is to return to the source of all things, for in their current state, all things are a chaotic mess. The more of our time that passes, the more chaotic things become. He paused for a moment as if to think, but meelWORM and I both knew that he was merely giving our minds time to digest. These were his last words to us before sinking ever deeper into meditation: "A storm is coming. Be ready. Soon, the aliens will arrive..."
More "Mike the Guru" Quotes:
"The Apple doesn't fall far from Microsoft."
"I say to you, love thy memory and relay those hard drives."
"If someone steals your Internet bandwidth, offer them your router, too!"
Chapter 2: The Storm
Now with more affirmative action!
Part 1: Enlightenment
I had known Mike since the very beginning. Long before Gridline Games. He and I were like family. Intertwined from the start. Mike even helped shape many of the most defining moments of my life. Never before had I seen him like this. It was as if he was a completely different person. What could he have truly meant by his words, I wondered. It was most perplexing. Most concerning of all were his parting words about a forthcoming alien arrival. Words that sounded more like a work of fiction. Then again, everything which had happened this day seemed like fiction, and the day was not yet over!
meelWORM interrupted my daydreaming to remind me that we needed to find the office's fuse box. We had made our way back downstairs in an effort to turn the lights back on. During a previous shutdown situation, we had no choice but to jump start the power from there. It took a moment, but I remembered where the fuse box was located. As meelWORM flipped the power back on, he uttered the words, "Mr. Hammond, I think we're back in business!" No Mr. Hammond had ever worked for Gridline Games, and we certainly were not back in business, so I simply assumed that it was his idea of a joke. It was then that I heard what sounded like frantic voices coming from another room. meelWORM and I decided to investigate further. I mean, it is not as if we had anywhere better to be...
Part 2: E.T.A.
"I need backup!" That is what meelWORM and I overheard as we charged into the break room. Eero appeared to be hiding in there, trying desperately to send out a message on his phone. He looked as though he had recently been in a fight. A fight in which, as he told us, he came out the victor. A year in the Estonian Defense Forces had not taught him nothing! He said that we should be very concerned about what was waiting for us in the lobby, though. It was like something straight out of one of our games. He was convinced that we would not believe him if he even tried to explain it. We simply had to see it for ourselves to understand. Before venturing out, meelWORM snatched and consumed a leftover brownie from the nearby snack table.
The three of us made haste for the lobby, following Eero's example of ducking behind and peaking around corners, instead of blindly rushing forward. I actually knew about that strategy, but I was not too certain about meelWORM. Finally, we arrived just around the corner from the lobby. As I peaked around, I came to realize that Eero was right. We would not have believed him had we not seen for ourselves. The lobby had been overrun by aliens! Pudgy green men with extra tall eyes from the looks of things. I counted at least four of them. It would seem that Eero held his own rather courageously against them, but they had captured and tied up Allen and Jovani in the process. Mike's prophecy had come to pass. The aliens had arrived. But who were they, and what did they really want? We were about to find out...
Part 3: Space Ruckus
Before confronting the insane situation looming before us in the lobby, we made a return trip to the supply closet, where we had all been briefly held up earlier that day when the lights went out on us in the boardroom. Eero picked up a blank dual-layer Blu-ray disc, which he fashioned into a knife. Now, that is cutting edge! I am not so certain that Sony would approve, though. I picked up a can of Raid. Gridline Games had a nasty cockroach problem. The less said about that the better. meelWORM looked around for a bit, but in the end, decided to hold onto his toy lightsaber. We had what we needed. It was now time to deal with our little problem, guerrilla warfare style!
As we re-approached the lobby, I pulled out my "cheerful slip" from that morning's abysmal boardroom meeting. Having no other realistic use for it, I folded the edges until it resembled a paper airplane. I tested the aerodynamics beforehand to see if it would fly. Then, standing as close to the lobby as I could without being seen by the alien intruders, I tossed it into the middle of the room. The bait had been laid, and it was time to strike! Eero sprinted in ahead of meelWORM and myself, taking with him his Blu-knife. He quickly snuck up behind one of the paper airplane onlookers, and shoved the knife into its back. A splatter of red blood covered the three of us as it stumbled to the ground. The remaining aliens turned to face us. I sprayed Raid in one of their eyes, while meelWORM proceeded to beat it to the ground with his toy lightsaber.
"Stop, you fools!" One of them yelled out this statement in a screechy voice before gripping me rather painfully by my throat. Eero and meelWORM demanded that they tell us why they were here. The one that I had previously sprayed with Raid stood back up, before angrily saying to us, "You know damn well why we are here!" Still gripping my throat, the other one stared into my eyes for a good moment and said, "We came for the Space Ruckus: The Great Invasion source disc..."
Part 4: God Versus the Volcano
Eero, meelWORM and I were in the process of being tied up next to Allen and Jovani when meelWORM turned to Allen and said, "We came to save you." Allen looked around feverishly at the situation before us and replied, "Good job!" He may have been sarcastic. What unfolded next was quite possibly the most horrific exchange of words ever spoken by human beings. Jovani began to make his peace with God, and encouraged us all to pray for our eternal salvation. This did not sit well with Allen, who as many of us knew, was a very vocal Atheist. He turned to Jovani, and told him rather fiercely that his God was a tale, founded on lies. A mere tool to control the masses in a time before the civilized world. Jovani began to quote scripture from the Holy Bible. Namely, John 3:16; "For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." "To deny Him," Jovani said, "is to deny yourself." When that failed to work on Allen, it devolved into a war of very foul language and even spitting. If we were going to die, at least we had a show to watch at the end!
"Jesus Christ!" One of the aliens screamed this most unfitting statement. Unfitting for an alien from another planet, I mean. If our little stunt from earlier had not upset them enough, Allen and Jovani's vigorous religious debate certainly had. The one who screamed, who was the same one who had gripped my throat earlier, quickly stepped forward. Standing in close proximity to us, he reached for his head, removing what was revealed to be a mask. Oh my God! It was none other than Micheal. No, not Mike. This was another Mike! One who had not worked for Gridline Games in quite some time. He said some pretty racy things about everyone before making his formal exit from the company. The other aliens proceeded to remove their masks, revealing themselves to be Gordon, James and Marlon. Gordon being the one who Eero had stabbed in the back with the Blu-knife earlier. Dave once shared the story of Space Monkey Software with me. I had other duty to attend to that day, and therefore missed out on the festivities. If Gordon could survive a three story fall from their building, a little shard of glass was certainly only a minor inconvenience! Micheal singled me out specifically and said, "No more games!" He then untied meelWORM and myself. We were to take him to the Space Ruckus development center immediately...
Part 5: Source
Per Micheal's wishes, meelWORM and I led him toward the blue door, beyond which lies the Space Ruckus development center. Along the way, completing the trials set forth by Mike, numbering three. Up first, the trial involving the background check, which was not at all what one may think. I yelled in the direction of meelWORM and Micheal. Turn around! A blinding white light flooded the path before us as we turned to look in the other direction. Next, the trial involving the password. It was encrypted with a mix of upper and lower case letters. V... No! IeLoRIaN! Finally, the last of the three trials. The one involving the leap of non-disclosure. In an effort to ensure that nobody left with any confidential information, Mike had placed an electronic hula-hoop that must be jumped through in order to enter and exit the development center. Doing so would act as a destructive magnet to any software entering or exiting the room. It appeared to be badly damaged by the recent power outage.
I felt a cold shiver run down the back of my spine as I entered the development center. Truthfully, I had never before sat foot in there. It is difficult for me to explain this in words, but it felt a bit like a religious experience. I was home! Somewhere in this mess of computers and scattered files was my higher self. At that very moment, I remembered my true calling in life. My whole reason for being. I was not just some worthless desk monkey. I was a savior to millions of people. An honored space pilot, held in high esteem by all. And I was going to be damned if I was going to let anyone change that!
I quickly reached for the disc labeled Space Ruckus Source, turned to face Micheal, and held it straight up in the air. I told him that I would do what I must if he would not leave. He did not budge. I maneuvered to shatter the disc on the ground, and as I did, Micheal grabbed meelWORM by the neck, and revealed to us that he had a concealed revolver. He would shoot meelWORM if I did not hand over the disc. I did just that, but not in the way that he expected of me. I tossed the disc into his revolver hand like a Frisbee, shattering the disc in the process. Dropping his weapon, he sighed in pain. meelWORM stood tall beside me. Everything that followed from that moment on occurred to me as if in slow motion. Micheal frantically retrieved his revolver, aimed for meelWORM and said, "Prepare to meet your maker!" I only had one option left. I jumped in front of meelWORM just as Micheal fired his critical shot. In agony, I fell to the ground. A bullet piercing my chest. In the chaos, meelWORM lunged for Micheal, and tackled him to the ground. I knew then what was about to happen next. meelWORM came to my side, and held my head up high. I entrusted him with my notes from that day, and asked that no one ever forget what happened here. I coughed, before asking of meelWORM one final request. I needed to know the gender of his baby. meelWORM said with a tear in his eye, "It's a boy!" Using a nearby pen, I signed my name at the bottom of my notes. I looked up to see the true Mike standing at the entrance of the development center, basked in a marvelous array of stars. Oh my... The day ended unlike any other. -Bill Grig
Space Heroes by Aubrey G. Young (Reversed)
Editor's Note: A two ton space ship was located just down the street from the former offices of Gridline Games. Indeed, a most puzzling discovery!
The Lost Gag Epilogue: Eero went on to become a paramedic. He still regrets not being there when Bill was shot and vows to never again lose a life. Allen became a professional cynic. He does stand-up routines three nights a week at his local community center. Jovani pursued a degree in science, even though he asserts that science is one gigantic conspiracy theory. Micheal became a clown for Cirque du Soleil. He throws popcorn in the faces of guests on a nightly basis. He could not be happier! Gordon became a successful film and television stuntman. He most recently appeared as a stand-in for Harrison Ford in the refrigerator scene of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. James and Marlon never settled their differences from A Day at Gridline Games, but eventually agreed to stay away from one another at all times. Dave was upset that he did not have a major role this time around, but he said that he found the ending rather amusing. meelWORM and his wife delivered a child together, but you already knew that! Mike would not say where he was heading next. He just wanted to get away from everyone and their conflicts. God is still being debated until this very day. Mankind has yet to move beyond the issue, one way or the other. Mr. Hammond went against everyone's better judgement and created dinosaurs from fossilized DNA. Bill may or may not actually be "dead." Nobody truly knows the answers to life's greatest questions, but one thing is for certain: We are here and we all have a unique role to play. So, no matter what you believe, make it a good one!